So recently I spent WAY TOO LONG being nice to someone and I have to often re-learn this lesson -- it never pays.
I am posting this here not because I bear any animosity to this person or care what he does or what his thing is, but because a person like this will go around bad-mouthing you, no one will see the context, and I think it is a very, very emblematic case of the manipulative hand-out seeker in SL that we encounter way too often. It's very instructive to map out the manipulative techniques people like this use to keep you off balance, keep you feeling awkward or apologetic, keep you feeling sorry for them, and ultimately give them something for free. That's wrong.
People who tell you stories about how they don't have money to pay for a rental, and say they will at the end of the month, or even ask you to hold something -- that's a sure sign of trouble ahead, manipulation, stories that you can never tell whether they are true, etc. So you need to cut it off quick -- and I should have the first round.
So in my first encounter with this character, I made it clear that I couldn't hold rentals -- I also said they were on self-service but perhaps made the mistake of continuing to answer lots of questions -- so that I then let myself in for another manipulative round.
It's rare that when you tell someone the rentals are on self-service, that they keep talking. If you are stern, and makes some jokes about it, and maybe say some other very stern thing, they get it.
This guy didn't, but whatever.
So here's round one:
[2019/11/11 22:27] Triskall Claremont: Hello.. sorry to bother you.. do you have empty lots of at most 250 lindens per week? (If you cannot answer, is there an employee of yours who can?)
[2019/11/11 22:40] Prokofy Neva: I have a lot of lots in those categories, the rentals are on self service, use search/places to see the listings, use the term Ravenglass Rentals
[2019/11/11 22:40] Prokofy Neva: I will send you the land mark to the office so you can see the full listings
[2019/11/11 22:41] Prokofy Neva: so you need to look in Tuliptree, Columbia, Jubata, Patagonia for empty lots
[2019/11/11 22:41] Second Life: Inventory item 'Ravenglass Rentals NEW Office in Maryport' offered
[2019/11/11 22:42] Prokofy Neva: these are all for residences, if you want a store I don't think I have any open at that price, check the commercial rentals board at the office
[2019/11/11 22:42] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I am at your office
[2019/11/11 22:42] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): thank you
[2019/11/11 22:43] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I normally do my homework before I IM someone, specially at 6800L per question LOL
[2019/11/11 22:43] Prokofy Neva: 6800L?
[2019/11/11 22:44] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): its on your picks -> consulting
[2019/11/11 22:44] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): LOL
[2019/11/11 22:44] Prokofy Neva: asking about a rentals isn't an hour of consulting dear
This was maybe the first sign of trouble. One of my picks -- one of my picks -- talks about my consulting fee -- which is rarely ever asked about. Years ago when all those RL companies were coming into SL and trying to pick our brains, I decided to put up that notice and charge them $25 US which is a very modest consulting fee per hour just to stop being ripped off by people picking my brain for hours.
I can count on one hand the number of times people within SL have asked me to consult on something like how to run a business or how to start a rentals group, etc. but the overwhelming majority of those people who merely IM with a question or two get free advice or such.
It clearly marks that what is meant if you want to take AN HOUR of my time.
Honestly, this is a manipulative, stupid, unnecessary question that was designed to make me feel sorry for this person and apologize for HIS misunderstanding of my profile which in fact in some 14 years or more has NEVER been understood as charging $6800 for merely asking a question.
No one who has on their main profile information about a rentals company is going to be doing that.
[2019/11/11 22:44] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I was scared to IM!
[2019/11/11 22:44] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): oh okay XD
[2019/11/11 22:44] Prokofy Neva: I've never had anybody assume that in 15 years but ok
[2019/11/11 22:44] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): 15? You're as old as me... not in this AV
[2019/11/11 22:45] Prokofy Neva: Polia is another sim with lots in that price range
[2019/11/11 22:45] Prokofy Neva: Sept 2004 birthdate
[2019/11/11 22:45] Prokofy Neva: $225/300 prims in Polia
[2019/11/11 22:45] Prokofy Neva: well you will see on the list
[2019/11/11 22:45] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): well in 15 years I never had anyone tell me I was a boy either. which is in fact the case, people assume I'm a girl.
[2019/11/11 22:45] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I'll totally seek and go visit!
[2019/11/11 22:46] Prokofy Neva: well Trish is a girl's name
[2019/11/11 22:46] Prokofy Neva: ?
[2019/11/11 22:46] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): not really
[2019/11/11 22:46] Prokofy Neva: yes, really
[2019/11/11 22:46] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): it depends on the country you are from
[2019/11/11 22:46] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): Andrea is a male name in europe
[2019/11/11 22:46] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): in US, a girl's name
[2019/11/11 22:46] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): Trish is in my country a male name
[2019/11/11 22:46] Prokofy Neva: well I guess you'll have to complain to people who have a different culture then
[2019/11/11 22:47] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): nah
[2019/11/11 22:47] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): just a bit of being understanding. Im a peaceful guy
Um, in the US, and lots of countries, "Trish" is short for "Patricia" and is definitely a girl's name in most countries, and most languages where it appears.
Go and Google this question and you'll see.
Sure, there could be some countries where "Trish" is a boy's name. I know lots of countries, I know foreign languages, I have travelled a lot, I read a lot, and I never have seen in Ireland, Turkey -- or hey, France, which will be relevant in a minute -- that this is a boy's name.
Sure, it might be in France, and some French person or a troll will be along in a minute to "enlighten" us. But honestly, mainly it's not.
So...If it is, great, but here's what we've learned about this situation.
This person DELIGHTS in manipulation.
They LOVE throwing people off balance, making them think they are dealing with a girl when it's a boy -- then CORRECTING them so they feel they are "wrong," and MAKE THEM FEEL apologetic.
These are methods. Sometimes they are learned at workshops, like "pick up artist" workshops or KGB training LOL. Other times they are developed over a lifetime of first parental abuse, and then exploitation or mistreatment or other facts that create the abusive personality.
How do we know this, beyond the bare fact of the name "confusion"?
Because he then says "nah, just a bit of understanding. I'm a peaceful guy" -- as if he is being terribly magnanimous to these bumbling, prejudicial creatures who in fact rightly think "Trish" is a girl's name because it is IN A LOT OF PLACES, especially ENGLISH-SPEAKING, which is what he is speaking -- ENGLISH. He loves that he can force this awkwardness and misunderstanding at his very first minute of every encounter in SL, and it makes him feel not only powerful but magnanimous.
But sorry, it's bullshit, regardless of whether it's really a male name in France or Brazil or whatever. What it is, is part of his manipulative shtick.
So that's why I cut right to the chase, and I give him a curt dismissal, so hopefully he will go away, or, if he values a cheap rental, stops yammering:
[2019/11/11 22:47] Prokofy Neva: you sound high maintenance
[2019/11/11 22:47] Prokofy Neva: fortunately my rentals are on self service : )
[2019/11/11 22:47] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): well see for the good side: you're not my lover LOLOLOL
[2019/11/11 22:47] Prokofy Neva: if at any time you are unhappy with the service, look deep within your soul : )
[2019/11/11 22:48] Prokofy Neva: no, I'm a 63 year old mother of two living in HUD housing, I should hope not
When anyone starts in with anything intimating that I might be of possible interest to them, I tell them my RL particulars and that gets rid of them fast in that department. And that's another example of creepy manipulation -- most people, when told they are high maintenance, either object and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." or "Aren't you rude, I'm finding another rental." Good! "Trish" does something more creepy, and suddenly, without cause, makes a remark that you are "not his lover". Um, no. I'm not. But why is this topic introduced?!
[2019/11/11 22:48] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): oh Im not. Hardly. Just a bit confused. It's my first time needing to rent land on my own
[2019/11/11 22:48] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): LOL
[2019/11/11 22:48] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I dont know what HUD housing is but thats okay XD
[2019/11/11 22:48] Prokofy Neva: well it's a buyer's market, mine are on the lower priced side, I have mostly small parcels, some larger that are mainly taken, a new area but it has a theme: Spanish/Indian/Mexican/hobbit
[2019/11/11 22:49] Prokofy Neva: it's the poor folks housing in New York City
[2019/11/11 22:49] Prokofy Neva: Housing and Urban Development
[2019/11/11 22:49] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): Oh
[2019/11/11 22:49] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): thanks for explaining :)
[2019/11/11 22:49] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I had no idea
[2019/11/11 22:50] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): the only HUD I know ...floats on my window... but again I'm an european... non english speaker.. Not familiar with many things
Hmm. I deal with lots and LOTS of people speaking English as a second language, and most of them do NOT speak and type and spell it this way. In both RL and SL. So that's all odd, but whatever. There's little reason to believe he's never rented land but again, whatever.
[2019/11/11 22:50] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): and this is about to be my first rental sooooo
[2019/11/11 22:50] Prokofy Neva: well there's the HUDs in SL for shopping and such
[2019/11/11 22:51] Prokofy Neva: well the good part is that you can refund if you don't like it unlike most places but for a cancellation fee which is returned if you rent elsewhere in our system
[2019/11/11 22:51] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I just dont like noisy neigbors. But apparently noise, lag stuff etc is forbidden in most
[2019/11/11 22:52] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): and orbs are allowed so thats ok too
[2019/11/11 22:52] Prokofy Neva: in my rentals only in the sky
[2019/11/11 22:52] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I'd go for a skybox yes
[2019/11/11 22:52] Prokofy Neva: yes weapons, laggy scripts etc are returned
[2019/11/11 22:52] Prokofy Neva: well you said "empty parcel" so I thought you meant no builds, on the ground, but if you want a skybox, I have zillions of those, some as bed & breakfast, i.e. room and attached skybox such as in Refugio
[2019/11/11 22:52] Prokofy Neva: others just straight up skybox from the ground
[2019/11/11 22:53] Prokofy Neva: still others from a place like a palace as a landing, i.e .in Winnipeg
[2019/11/11 22:53] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I do want an empty parcel
[2019/11/11 22:53] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I'll put my own stuff
[2019/11/11 22:53] Prokofy Neva: well if you want the parcel on the ground to be empty to put stuff, and a skybox that you put up, then see my first answer
[2019/11/11 22:53] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I never had to rent anything, but I'm a decent builder
[2019/11/11 22:53] Prokofy Neva: also Ravenglass the sim has a few empties
[2019/11/11 22:53] Prokofy Neva: did I mention also Patagonia
[2019/11/11 22:54] Prokofy Neva: Grote has larger lots and camp sites, the houses can be removed there if they aren't the B*B houses, there are some for $250 along the river there
[2019/11/11 22:57] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): Im looking at your places
[2019/11/11 22:57] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): will go to grote next!
[2019/11/11 22:57] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): they're all main land?
[2019/11/11 22:58] Prokofy Neva: yes in that price range of $250
[2019/11/11 22:58] Prokofy Neva: $1250 for 4096 on the island
[2019/11/11 23:08] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I'll keep looking, you have a LOT of stuff to visit. Thanks for talking to me. If I manage to get a better budget I'll consider the island
Hmm. Islands are $1200/1250. $1000 is not much less. We began talking about $250, then $400.
Honestly, the spread is usually not this wide.
[2019/11/11 23:08] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): not sure what is the prims in one
[2019/11/11 23:08] Prokofy Neva: where is that?
[2019/11/11 23:08] Prokofy Neva: usually they are $250/300 or $250/350
[2019/11/11 23:09] Prokofy Neva: the land description has the price and prims
[2019/11/11 23:09] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): this one you mentioned
[2019/11/11 23:09] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): [22:58] Prokofy Neva: $1250 for 4096 on the island
[2019/11/11 23:10] Prokofy Neva: sorry the island is $1200/1250 prims
[2019/11/11 23:10] Prokofy Neva: Ravenglass Realm it's called
[2019/11/11 23:11] Prokofy Neva: but you could get an empty lot for half that on Mainland
[2019/11/11 23:12] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): same li?
[2019/11/11 23:13] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): prims oO
[2019/11/11 23:13] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): or half prims too
[2019/11/11 23:13] Prokofy Neva: mainland would have more prims
[2019/11/11 23:13] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): interesting I didnt know that
[2019/11/11 23:13] Prokofy Neva: the tier is less on mainland
[2019/11/11 23:13] Prokofy Neva: it has less features
[2019/11/11 23:14] Second Life: Inventory item 'Ravenglass Rentals $900 Riverside in Moraine' offered
[2019/11/11 23:14] Prokofy Neva: $900/1038
[2019/11/11 23:15] Second Life: Inventory item 'Ravenglass Rentals $400 Waterfront in Winnipeg 6' offered
[2019/11/11 23:15] Prokofy Neva: $400/500
[2019/11/11 23:19] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): Im keeping these LMs... I like these you showed and the other lot on this same last tim
[2019/11/11 23:24] Second Life: Inventory item 'La Montana Rosa' offered
[2019/11/11 23:24] Prokofy Neva: Here is a sheer pink mountain that looks out on Bella, a piece of this can be cut for you at .5/prim on this side, the other side is going to be Inca
[2019/11/11 23:29] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): https://gyazo.com/23f0b829ff119718842a534caa5dafd5
[2019/11/11 23:29] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): some wacko crashed a helicopter here lol
[2019/11/11 23:29] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): and left
[2019/11/11 23:30] Prokofy Neva: yes I wrote to him, next stop, AR to Lindens
[2019/11/11 23:30] Prokofy Neva: I can't return it
[2019/11/11 23:30] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): jesus
[2019/11/11 23:30] Prokofy Neva: it's crashed half on my land, half on the other people's
[2019/11/11 23:30] Prokofy Neva: when that happens you can't return
[2019/11/11 23:30] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): yes
[2019/11/11 23:30] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): oh no... thgat has to suck
[2019/11/11 23:30] Prokofy Neva: oh wait I got it to return
[2019/11/11 23:31] Prokofy Neva: sometimes if you try to drive it even if you can't it nudges
[2019/11/11 23:31] Prokofy Neva: so that's gone
[2019/11/11 23:31] Prokofy Neva: now there's just a big bright rock, and...Bella : )
[2019/11/11 23:32] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I think I like the greens more lol
[2019/11/11 23:32] Prokofy Neva: well that side is all skyboxes and shops in the sky
[2019/11/11 23:32] Prokofy Neva: but if you like rugged camping, there it is
[2019/11/11 23:32] Prokofy Neva: the other side is Inca/Spanish/India tho
[2019/11/11 23:32] Prokofy Neva: if you want modern you will need another sim
[2019/11/11 23:33] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I like modern and countryside
[2019/11/11 23:33] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): in this order, too
[2019/11/11 23:33] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): that last sim had good modern homes for example
[2019/11/11 23:33] Prokofy Neva: yes well that's what the tenants put out
[2019/11/11 23:33] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): yes :D
[2019/11/11 23:33] Prokofy Neva: I have FLW's Fallingwater for $1000, 750 prims for your use
[2019/11/11 23:34] Prokofy Neva: I personally find that house hard to live in
[2019/11/11 23:34] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I'd put my own house too
[2019/11/11 23:34] Second Life: Inventory item 'Ravenglass Rentals $1000 Waterfront in Ravenglass' offered
[2019/11/11 23:34] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): secondlife:///app/agent/bbfb88f5-f933-43ba-9142-9a6c0dc97084/completename received your inventory offer.
[2019/11/11 23:34] Prokofy Neva: well you could do that on that parcel, I just offered that as a special this week with mgt prims don't count
[2019/11/11 23:35] Prokofy Neva: if you don't have that house it's like $1000/1400 I think, check the land description
[2019/11/11 23:35] Prokofy Neva: but if you are starting out renting you might be happier with a lower price
[2019/11/11 23:36] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): you're talking about the huge ass red house behind me...??
[2019/11/11 23:36] Prokofy Neva: huge ass red house where?
[2019/11/11 23:36] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I lolol always wanted to visit
[2019/11/11 23:37] Prokofy Neva: Fallingwater?
[2019/11/11 23:37] Prokofy Neva: it's that FLW copy in Ravenglass the sim you mean?
[2019/11/11 23:37] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): https://gyazo.com/94566a709e89d0209757c777e514b5c5
[2019/11/11 23:37] Prokofy Neva: yep that's it
[2019/11/11 23:37] Prokofy Neva: 800 plus prims
[2019/11/11 23:38] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): can I visit?
[2019/11/11 23:38] Prokofy Neva: yes of course
[2019/11/11 23:38] Prokofy Neva: you can join the group which is on open and test your house anywhere
[2019/11/11 23:38] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): yes I dont enter houses without asking even if they're to rent
Again, note that this is manipulative bullshit. If a land is for rent, you can fly into it. Often I see people joining the group thinking that only if they join the group can they get into it. They don't realize that if it is an open group, that makes no sense LOL. If a rental needs a group that wishes to keep a lot closed to non-rental, it issues the invitation, and doesn't leave it on open, but before it is out on the market to rent, obviously you have to be able to fly in to see it.
It's just not the case that land will be closed, requiring you to IM a landlord like in real life and get a key.
If this guy is genuinely clueless because he has never rented, he's just been flying around to a bunch of possible rentals that he....flew into.
So his asking if he can enter this house is about fake obsequiousness; it's about throwing a person off guard and again, making them feel they are doing the wronging, and the other person is in the right and even apologetic.
It's a method. It's a technique. It is even trained by entities like the KGB, as I said, or the pick-up artist seminars. In some cases, it is simply learned behavior, from abusive and abused environments.
Not playing, whatever it is.
[2019/11/11 23:38] Prokofy Neva: there are different groups on different sims, check the land description
[2019/11/11 23:38] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): okay
[2019/11/11 23:38] Prokofy Neva: well how would anybody rent them then?
[2019/11/11 23:38] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I dont know. Im a role player
[2019/11/11 23:39] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): we just dont enter people's houses! it's a default of good etiquette! XD
[2019/11/11 23:39] Prokofy Neva: well these aren't anybody's homes yet, they are out to rent
[2019/11/11 23:39] Prokofy Neva: once they are rented people can use ban etc and put on no-build
[2019/11/11 23:40] Prokofy Neva: as I said I don't allow orbs on the ground because it makes for a nasty experience for your fellow tenants
[2019/11/11 23:40] Prokofy Neva: if you need a bunker, go to the islands and pay a higher price
[2019/11/11 23:45] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): On the ground, its not my interest to put a orb
[2019/11/11 23:45] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I dont have a real store
[2019/11/11 23:45] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): but I have a photo gallery
[2019/11/11 23:46] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): people can't get my services unless they visit it
Another big, fat marker for manipulation.
It actually isn't on his profile among all his "rules".
But if he's a prostitute providing services, which is fine, he can't be in my residential rentals; I don't let people use them for their business, exploiting my cheap land, and creating more traffic and possible problems around people trying to live a residential life.
He's also doing another little manipulative gesture to let you know that he is exclusive and special and requires people to view pictures before they can hire him.
I frankly don't want him even in my stores because prostitution often leads to fights and griefing, but if he rents a store and pays commercial rents, I don't care what he's selling.
I decided not to "get into it" with him about what kind of establishment he wanted to put on my land because...he hadn't paid rent. He was two weeks out from paying rent at best!
[2019/11/11 23:46] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): then on the sky, after the 500th mt, Id put a skybox
[2019/11/11 23:46] Prokofy Neva: ok sounds good
[2019/11/11 23:47] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): My RL payment should be here at most end of month and until then I will visit plenty but I have one I already like
[2019/11/11 23:47] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): a lot anyway
[2019/11/11 23:47] Prokofy Neva: ok
[2019/11/11 23:47] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): so if when my money comes its still there it'll be that one
[2019/11/11 23:47] Prokofy Neva: which one is that
[2019/11/11 23:49] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I came back to see lolol
[2019/11/11 23:49] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): you have two in Moraine
[2019/11/11 23:49] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): either or
[2019/11/11 23:50] Prokofy Neva: yes there are several there, $400, $900, $950, also some B&Bs
[2019/11/11 23:50] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): this one Im at is 400
[2019/11/11 23:51] Prokofy Neva: I have no idea if it will still be available in 2 weeks but since the one that's $900 was just put out it may be
[2019/11/11 23:51] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): the other I think 950
[2019/11/11 23:51] Prokofy Neva: yes there's one across the river too
[2019/11/11 23:51] Prokofy Neva: just vacated
[2019/11/11 23:51] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): /me tries to stretch eye
[2019/11/11 23:53] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I dont know Miss Neva.. I like this one tiny here lol
[2019/11/11 23:53] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): and the other one near
[2019/11/11 23:53] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): they're my favorites
[2019/11/11 23:53] Prokofy Neva: ok well check back if they are still available
[2019/11/11 23:54] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): I totally will and if I get cash before that I'll just get it
[2019/11/11 23:54] Prokofy Neva: ok
[2019/11/11 23:54] Prokofy Neva: if Im' not here IM my son Henry Hutchence to be given resident status
[2019/11/11 23:54] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): the cute garden comes with?
I view this as the typical chisel of the manipulative person trying to grab more. The garden is in fact clearly a landing area/boat launch.
But maybe it isn't clear if he isn't turning on property lines, so whatever. But it's just one more thing...
[2019/11/11 23:55] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): https://gyazo.com/26490a43a54977fcf0b1760c56505d3d this
[2019/11/11 23:55] Prokofy Neva: the garden is like a public garden for that community, a little hangout
[2019/11/11 23:55] Prokofy Neva: oh that's the boat launch
[2019/11/11 23:56] Prokofy Neva: use world/show/property lines after joining the group but you can use those hangout areasa there and on the other sim across the way, there's a palace
[2019/11/11 23:56] Prokofy Neva: *areas
[2019/11/11 23:56] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): okay
[2019/11/11 23:57] Prokofy Neva: oh but boating is blocked up river by some idiot with access only
[2019/11/11 23:57] Prokofy Neva: but you can go a ways
[2019/11/11 23:57] Prokofy Neva: we have boating also in Carlisle, Ravenglass, etc. with docks
[2019/11/11 23:58] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): he should remove the access but whatever
[2019/11/11 23:58] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): some people are stingy
[2019/11/11 23:58] Prokofy Neva: believe me, we've all petitioned, even for years
[2019/11/11 23:58] Prokofy Neva: I've tried to get the Lindens to terraform their hill down to compensate but they won't
[2019/11/11 23:58] Prokofy Neva: so let's call it portage there in Keuka
[2019/11/12 00:00] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): XD
[2019/11/12 00:00] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): what access he demands?
[2019/11/12 00:00] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): the buyer?
[2019/11/12 00:00] Prokofy Neva: well you know how people put "access only"
[2019/11/12 00:00] Prokofy Neva: so only their group can be there
[2019/11/12 00:00] Prokofy Neva: well sadly that includes the river as the Lindens didn't cut it well there
[2019/11/12 00:00] Prokofy Neva: so even tho I own some land there I can't terraform it down further
[2019/11/12 00:00] Prokofy Neva: so it is what it is
[2019/11/12 00:01] Prokofy Neva: you can visit the Society for Virtual Architecture we have there which has a secret Masonic temple underground and in the sky
[2019/11/12 00:01] Prokofy Neva: but you have to TP there because the river is blocked
[2019/11/12 00:01] Second Life: Inventory item 'SOCIETY FOR VIRTUAL ARCHITECTURE' offered
[2019/11/12 00:02] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): thank you
[2019/11/12 00:17] Trish Claremont (triskall.claremont): Good night and thank you for talking to me *hugs*
[2019/11/12 00:18] Prokofy Neva: ok take care
Uh, I don't need a hug, because I'm just a landlord. Not a lover, remember? Some people don't know their boundaries.
For some reason, a day later, I got this:
[2019/11/12 17:27] Triskall Claremont: AFK a few, having a meal... please leave me a message. Thanks.
[2019/11/12 17:27] Triskall Claremont: AFK a few, having a meal... please leave me a message. Thanks.
Some SL glitch.
So today, after a trip out of town, I come back to a parcel where I had a house, but then took it off for various reasons, then went AFK to attend to RL chores. I come back and this guy is camped on the lawn. As you can see, I spent way too much time with him, and should have just logged off if he wouldn't stop chattering. But I tried to be polite and answer questions and even be helpful.
But here's what ensues:
[12:01] Triskall Claremont: hello again LOL
[12:01] Triskall Claremont: you seem asleep
[12:12] Triskall Claremont: I like this plot. A lot in fact. My money only comes on the end of the month as I had chemo yesterday but we're trying to earn more. I am wondering if you can put it on hold for either me or my friend who will live with me?
OK let's stop right here. Why does your having chemo have anything to do with you having or not having money? You either have US $3.75 per week, which this rental costs -- and that's quite cheap for 1230 prims on waterfront -- or you don't. (or you can get 10% discount of that if you pay 4 weeks in advance.)
You don't HAVE to rent it; you could even rent something a third of that price (see above, which I was asked to hold and say no).
Why does your status as a cancer victim, having to have chemo, mean that you are entitled to charity concerning a US $3.75 rental in a virtual world? It doesn't. If the implication is that this person pays for their chemo therapy, understood, but then if you don't have $3.75 for entertainment online, you need to save what you have for FOOD. Many people getting chemo, even in the third world, don't pay for chemo, or those that do have bills that they don't pay at once.
But basically, there is no linkage between your status of getting chemo, and your needing two weeks or so to get the rent money together. If you have $1000 to pay for chemo, $3.75 a week for a rental -- or $1.50 a week -- is not going to be a big deal.
Once again, this statement is a non-sequitur: "My money only comes on the end of the month as I had chemo yesterday". Especially as it was invoked previously as merely "money at the end of the month" of the type anyone has with a paycheck or stipend or relief, and was not connected to chemo, except insofar as it might be social security or welfare. But again, welfare in a third-world country suggests that if you don't feel you have $3.75 a week for your entertainment, then...don't spend it.
And then look at the next part: "we're trying to earn more".
Oh? So your rental money is going to depend not on your RL stipend/welfare, but what you earn in SL? Well, lots of my tenants earn money inworld as all sorts of jobs and some even put in what are the equivalent of nickels or quarters per day, as they earn it. That's fine. Not everybody has RL money or can spend RL money so they use SL earnings. But again, "trying to earn more" suggests instability and uncertainty that would suggest you should take on a rental. Find a $25 or $35 skybox (I have them but there are elaborate ones with scene changes even better than mine).
Note this is the third option this person has indicated. First, they wanted to spend $250, so I sent them those kinds of landmarks. Then they liked a $400 lot. I'm not some high-pressure salesman who is going to push you into spending more you can afford, as I want the rent paid, so I don't have to expel you. So don't spend $400. But that was where it was left -- and now suddenly it's $1000? Really? $250 was likely not affordable for someone in Brazil, Brazilian or not; $1000 even more so.
This is the point where a curt ("well, if it's still here at the end of the month you're welcome to rent it" would suffice -- but the only reason I decided to hold it is that this particular parcel had a constant issue with some idiot neighbours putting bullshit up in the water and therefore didn't rent. I didn't want to turn waterfront into skyboxes. At that moment in time, there was actually nothing in the water, but there could be tomorrow. So I said I'd hold it for pure pragmatic reasons, even before I had to hear more nonsense -- and I made that decision not on the basis of "chemo" or "welfare" or "earning" iffyness but pure pragmatic concern, that this lot hadn't rented for weeks while it had first a Big Boy, then a big house in front of it. Some people tolerate that; most don't:
[13:08] Prokofy Neva: Hi, yes I can hold it until the end of the month, I will remove the rental box, IM me when you're ready
[13:09] Prokofy Neva: I thought there was one you wanted that was cheaper in Moraine but if you'd rather have this one, you could
[13:11] Triskall Claremont: to be honest this here is ...how to say, calmer looking
[13:11] Triskall Claremont: LOL
[13:11] Triskall Claremont: has more prims too. The ad said 1k/ 1250 prims was it not?
[13:12] Triskall Claremont: on search
Actually the ad said 1230. I had to re-do the ad because it had been changed to a manager's special with house included but then I ditched that, it hadn't rented either.
Reviewing this situation, I felt for sure it called for a stern warning, or I would be looking at sad stories, over prims, friends with overprimming, non payment of rent and worse for weeks on end -- which BTW, I just finished enduring for months on that sim from some Russians, to whom I tried to give the benefit of the doubt as they had been there for years, but who took advantage of me one too many times and they were then removed.
[13:12] Prokofy Neva: Remember that many people have sad stories in SL. All kinds of people. Some other people are on chemo, but they pay for a rent like this and pay it on time. So please don't expect some kind of charity from me, I cannot give it. The only reason I am holding it is because it has not rented and I first put that FLW house on it then took it off, it doesn't rent because there is a house in the view on the water in front of it
First of all, it's simply not fair to the people who I know for a fact have RL cancer or very impoverished circumstances, who pay even more expensive rents and pay them on time; people with all kinds of impossible situations -- the death of a spouse, the death of a child, Alzheimer's of the spouse, cancer of the spouse or the tenant etc etc. People have unbearably sad and difficult stories in SL that sometimes we have no idea about. And the most humble of them never tell you. Those that tell you don't expect a handout. Those that feel the need to tell you AND ask for a favour can sometimes be involved in a hustle. And you have no way of knowing. So because you have no way of knowing, you can give them the benefit of the doubt, or give them a lecture and tell them straight that you're not a dupe. If they get angry, fine, no need to rent from me, move along, SL is a big place.
[13:12] Prokofy Neva: It's 1230
[13:15] Triskall Claremont: I am not expecting charity from anyone. But 90% of people have some sort of insurance. I live in Brazil (although I am not Brazilian), and if I am to buy 100 lindens here, I don't eat for a month since I am living on family charity and I am only a translator. I am not asking anything free though.
So let's find out what the average food basket is in Brazil; the cost of living is about half what it is in the US, where SL is based, after all, and which uses the dollar tied to its own internal currency. So the daily minimum amount -- NOT monthly -- is, in the equivalent of US dollars, $4.49.
Yet this fellow claims that if he "buys 100 Lindens" (surely he must mean 1000), he can't eat. But 1000 Lindens = $3.75 or actually $3.77 at this exact moment in time on the LindEx at the rate of 257 Lindens per US dollar, after fees for conversion are adding in. $3.75 is the figure I used even when the Linden was worth more and cashed out at 252, simply because the sell rate conversion doesn't include the *other* fee of cashing out to PayPal, which has now gone up. I continue to use $3.75/1000 as a rule of thumb, but really, I should sit and calculate it now with this new fee, because it is not worth much to evaluate the Linden based on the cashout price which you can only use to pay tier; you have to base it on its value cashed out to RL on PayPal, to be used for any bill.
100 Lindens is only 38 cents. But since this rent was 1000 I'll assume he met buying 1000 Lindens for the equivalent of $3.75 value. Yes, when you BUY as distinct from SELL Lindens you pay 266 to get them in 10 minutes (not the instant option, but surely you can wait 10 minutes) so that 2500 is available for $10.89. That works out to $3.76, so virtually the same thing, because while it says 266 and not 256, it's based on its value for sale.
Let's point out that this person, who has "not asked for anything for free" in fact...just asked me before I went out of town for me to short myself possibly more than two weeks of rent on a parcel for $400; now he was asking to short me and deprive me of rent for two weeks for a $1000/wk rental.
Why is that ok?
Who does that?
Let me suggest most people do NOT do that, even people dying of cancer (and some of my tenants have died on me, and it's been quite sad, and I have known their stories are true either by meeting them in RL; seeing a RL obituary; talking to a bona fide RL partner -- I've also had tenants with fake cancer and sob stories about not paying the rent which don't add up).
You see, when you just literally read what this person has said and what they are doing, you can see their bullshit, their manipulation, and their in fact begging for something for free -- two weeks of rent to hold something.
Some landlords might do this; most won't. I'm only doing it for a lot that wasn't renting anyway.
This isn't because I'm a rich land baron (see above). It's because I need the tier to be paid or I don't do it. If it's not paid, I can't tier your Second Life.
[13:16] Triskall Claremont: I pay everything from my pocket, as I sit here I am trying to translate a menu from a local restaurant that won't pay me 20 dollar
[13:16] Triskall Claremont: I pay for my chemo, it's 1000/month
Well, I'm not so stupid, and I do know that healthcare in Brazil, even for foreigners and non-residents is FREE. Now, all kinds of circumstances can arise that may make some element of care not free. But if you are French, you can go back to your country and have FREE HEALTH CARE THERE. Again, all kinds of circumstances arise. Maybe you are too sick. Maybe you are French without French citizenship although it is a country with plenty of socialism on the health care front, trust me. But $1000 for Brazil strikes me as questionable; that figure frankly seems high even for the US, without insurance.
And guess what. I'm a Russian translator. And even in the "first world" of New York City, I totally know what it is like to only have a job of the equivalent of a restaurant menu, or a resume, or transcript or -- hey, a game localization -- for which I will only earn $20 per job or day or whatever. With maybe no job like that the next day and the day after. Translation rates worldwide are pushed down by the Internet and sites like fiverr. So please, do not try to top me with stories of pain and suffering as a translator and poor person. You may not win.
Fortunately I don't pay for chemo, but the medicines and treatments for my rare immune disease are as expensive or more per month. Now I'm fortunate I have Medicaid. But trust me, I know exactly what it is like to pay a lot of money for health care for myself and my children; one died in infancy and generated a health care bill of $100,000 plus; another was in a severe accident and generated a health care bill of $120,000. I know what it's like to pay bills like these for years, and petition all kinds of authorities to reduce or dismiss them or finally get state health care so I don't have to pay $400 US or more per month for. And BTW I got health care even before Obama Care in my state because, you know, while we don't have socialism (and ObamaCare was a good thing for many, and I voted for him in his first term), our state provided subsidized medical care for single parents like me with low-income jobs and later sick children or who became sick myself. Little known fact about America who people fail to admit when they go on Twitter to boast about health care horrors. Please don't try to one-up me on health care horrors. I can top many of your stories. So just don't go there. You don't have to have socialism or single-payer or "Medicare for All" to have a better health care system that covers genuine needs. And we have more of one than most people yammering about this admit.
Next, I decide to go full-bore, to really burn in my message.
[13:16] Prokofy Neva: Brazilians consistently, constantly, almost always rip me off, overprim, and make up stories, to the point that I am almost ready to discriminate on national grounds which goes against my principles
Yes. I've had so many zillions of bad experiences now that I really am ready to discriminate, as much as it goes totally against my principles. I've had the most bizarre situations -- a guy building an entire tower on a 4096 and re-renting it out to 25 of his friends and collecting their rent (um, I don't allow sub-lets); multiple times when people put their transparent prims over my rental boxes and collect rent to themselves while making it look like mine is still there; people putting out a thousand prims on a rental that allows 25; people putting thousands of prims out as squatters; coming back on alts; coming back and rooting across sims or parcels so maybe it won't show as much; people screaming at me even if their lot has been held for beyond the two day grace period; people demanding I instantly TP so their inworld translator will work in chat because they are too lazy to go on Google Translate -- which is, you know, what I do? Hello. All Brazilians. Nearly in every case. Tab your fucking browser down, please, and use Google, like I do.
Honestly, so many many many bad experiences of Brazilians ripping me off, cheating me, then screaming at me and griefing me for hours, that I am nearly at that point. Of course I have had some good Brazilian tenants. But lots and lots of really bad ones. Recently I recall expelling one that had linked up all her prims in a house putting her prim load at 10 times the allowable amount, forcing other prims off the sim, and denying others the use of their prims. I have to return a house like that where stupidity reigns supreme, where one message, two messages about how you can't link prims like that got no action, and where I am harassed and griefed for days afterward, despite the obvious problem.
Russians also have this national culture of lying straight up in your face, and loudly and crazily, when they are obviously wrong -- I'm quite used to it. I understand the historical and cultural reasons for it. But I also don't tolerate it because it's bullshit. It's not fair to those Russians and Brazilians and many others who don't lie, cheat, steal and yell that they have been unfairly returned.
[13:17] Triskall Claremont: so you see, I work for my money.
[13:17] Triskall Claremont: Im french
LOL. For some people in SL, this line might have gotten an instant right-click/eject/expel or ban, but, alright, I know some French LOL.
I work for my money too, you know?
But wait. You said you were waiting for money to come at the end of the month -- sounds like welfare -- because you also said "trying to earn" -- sounds like freelance pay that is irregular. Well, which is it?
Odd.
[13:17] Prokofy Neva: my RL medicines cost hundreds of dollars too so please, stop with the sob story
[13:17] Prokofy Neva: 1000 is $3.74 US, the cost of a latte
[13:17] Triskall Claremont: I LIVE in Brazil. It's different.
[13:17] Prokofy Neva: if you do not have $3.74 it does not pay to be on SL spending money, use it on food in real life
[13:17] Triskall Claremont: I never asked you anything but to wait for my pay check.
Um, no. You asked me to short myself two weeks rent. That's not trivial.
And as I explained, the cost of living in Brazil is 44% or more LESS, but that still means that $3.75 is not some astronomical sum where you can't eat for a month as you truly might not be able to do in sub-Sahara Africa.
[13:18] Triskall Claremont: And I told you why. I didn't need it. I just thought it was the right thing to do
Well, wait. You said you can't buy 1000 Lindens or you don't eat. You said you still had to earn money. You said you had a paycheck coming in. It's a lot of conflicting statements. Maybe they do go together, but you know what? I don't care. You are giving off all kinds of warning signs that you cannot afford even a cheap rental and cannot reliably be expected to pay for it, and meanwhile you will also try telling heart-rending stories to prey on a landlord's sympathies.
No sale.
[13:18] Prokofy Neva: it doesn't matter where you are or what your story is, this is the cost, and I'm not hear to listen to sad stories as there are many far far worse than yours where th epeople pay more even, because we're talking about trivilian
[13:18] Triskall Claremont: I wasn't expecting you to be rude about it.
[13:18] Prokofy Neva: *trivial amounts
[13:18] Triskall Claremont: again? I only asked some days. NOT to reduce prices. No?
[13:19] Prokofy Neva: You're in the BDSM movement, and here's your notice: I do not play BDSM and condem it. Don't use it on me, as I'm not playing. My rentals are open to the public for anyone of any belief or practice or nationality to rent. But n ot with fake stories, lies, special requests, late rents and all matter of bullshit
A number of the lines here first in the first round, then in the second round, seemed to be the typical gas-lighting and muddle and manipulation of BDSM, but the reason I said this was because, you know, I looked at his profile. He's gay -- but that doesn't matter, that's no marker for BDSM or anything at all.
But he has a list of his RP limits -- that usually is a marker. He has all kinds of other rules and explanations and stuff -- that's a marker in my long experience. Pages and pages of it. If he's not BDSM, he sounds like it surely.
If it turns out I'm wrong and prejudicial to this poor French man suffering from cancer in Brazil and having to work for the meager salary of a translator who is really just here to have beautiful and meaningful virtual experiences, ok, shoot me. That's fine.
[13:19] Triskall Claremont: Uh??
[13:19] Triskall Claremont: I ABHORR BDSM... where this idea come from???
[13:19] Prokofy Neva: your profile? your RP stuff? Hello?
[13:19] Triskall Claremont: Hey not all RP is BDSM ;P
[13:19] Prokofy Neva: um yeah I know
[13:20] Prokofy Neva: I've been in SL for 15 years with literally tens of thousands of customers?
[13:20] Prokofy Neva: hello
[13:20] Triskall Claremont: daFUQ. i rp A MUSICIAN ON AN URBAN SIM!
Well, um, ok. But most of the profile is about all kinds of RP stuff? Go and look shrugs at all his picks.
ββ£ π΄πππ. π―πππππππππ. π¨π
πππ. πΊπππ-ππππππππππ. ββ― β΅ πͺππππππππ πΊπππ
πππ: see PICKS for contact & Info. β΅ πΉπππ-π·πππππ: see PICKS for sims I RP at & character ...
[13:20] Triskall Claremont: Ops
[13:20] Prokofy Neva: and the halmark of BDSM is to claim they are never properly understood
[13:20] Triskall Claremont: I dont like it. Period.
[13:21] Triskall Claremont: I dont like BDSM, hell, I am so vanilla I have a hard time RPing
[13:21] Prokofy Neva: people who have to put lists of what they like or not like or their limits are usually always BDSM
[13:21] Prokofy Neva: if you aren't, guess what, I DON'T CARE
[13:21] Prokofy Neva: IT DOESN'T MATTER
[13:21] Prokofy Neva: what I'm here to explain and I won't repeat it is that I don't RP with you, you don't try to manipulate me with your RP bullshit
[13:22] Triskall Claremont: eregardless. why are you even having this conversation with me? Bad day?? All I asked was a little TIME, and I told you WHY. It was not to have your pity or charity. I justified, even if I didn't have to, because it seems ETHICAL. If you only met bastards in your 15 years of SL which you can't brag at me because I joined in July of 2003, I am really sorry for you. I'm just an honest guy.
Um, wait up here.
It's not ethical to ask for someone to forego two weeks payment of rent because of your own personal problems.
It's not ethical to then tell pity-party stories to try to shore up their charitable instincts.
It's manipulative.
It's not ethical.
It's bullshit.
People like this are so out of touch with how they sound and how their true nature reveals itself, they are so wrapped up in their lies and their sense of themselves as victims, that it becomes impenetrable and impossible. So I don't deal with it. Move along. SL is a big place.
[13:22] Prokofy Neva: so this conversation has gone on way longer than it should, I am not holding this parcel, especially as I have even more reason not to expect rent on time, so it's going back on the market. If it is here on Nov 30, rent it, and do your thing. If you are late, you are expelled. Goodbye
[13:24] Triskall Claremont: yea no shit. Why Id rent anything from someone so biased all they think of people is that everyone is a liar. I am really sorry for you. I hope you have success with your business, but while I WILL have money at the end of the month. I am sorry for you... you're hjust a poor, bitter, person.
Well, um, no. I'm not biased to think everyone is a liar.
I'm biased to think people who tell me they are waiting for money, yet earn it; no, they can't buy 1000 Lindens because they can't eat for a month (although that country's food basket is that per day not month); no, they have to earn it; well, they had chemo and had to pay for it AND who ask me to HOLD A RENTAL UNPAID FOR TWO WEEKS are likely trying to manipulate me; are likely not telling the truth of the situation.
If they are, they are out of touch with not only their own reality, but reality in general.
And no, I'm not bitter. I'm just sanguine about Brazilians, Russians, Russians in America, French in Brazil, or whatever the configuration in any country or no country, when they send up red flags about how they can't pay, how they want you to take a hit and help them; how they are "self-sufficient" but buying 1000 Lindens for $3.75, even though it is Brazil, represents "not eating for a month" when even in poor Brazil, you need that much to eat one day poorly, not a month (in the US, especially in New York, it will be three times or more that amount).
In SL, there is no free press, no independent judiciary, no elected government. There is the authoritarian company and its company store, but out on the frontier, there is only frontier justice. And so the only way you can address these situations is having rules applied to everyone, and if you have to suspend them, explain why (or it's not fair to others) and be absolutely frank if not even harsh about your limits for bullshit.
Don't like? Refund is always an option.